It gives me hope that I change. I’ve been making slow progress.

• My immediate goal is to run 2 miles every day and build some fitness back.
• It’s very discouraging how much my latest 5 months of laziness have set me back.

Check out this photo from Joe Thorn

photo credit: TimWilson

No - The Secret To Running Is Not The Shoes

I know that title is a little pompous, especially considering I’m still fighting to get out the door most days. But it occurred to me tonight that I’ve stumbled past the secret of running too many times to count.

The Secret To Running - Never Give Up

I didn’t say the secret to running well, that is still a mystery to me. What I mean is more basic. As long as I keep going out for my awkward jogs, I’ll never fail. As long as I try to become a runner, it will happen.

The whole problem for me is motivation.

• Do I really want to become a runner?
• Do I really want to lose weight?
• Do I really want to wake up at 5 AM?
• Do I really want to believe I can do it?

Everyday some TV commercial or advertisement is screaming about how I can change my life. So it’s hard to believe that jogging around my neighborhood for twenty minutes is a big deal. It just sounds too good to be true.

As I was going to bed last night, I realized that running is doing more than making my life better. It really is changing my life.

• I am loosing weight and finding more energy all day long.
• I am overcoming depression and gaining a sense of self-control.
• I am finding new positive ways to relate to my children.
• I have learned to stick with something despite the cold weather, even wet toes.
• I am beginning to think ahead to bigger challenges.
• I am becoming a happier person.

All of these are small things in themselves, but they add up to something amazing. It just feels like I am becoming a different person. Little, by little, running is changing my life.

After work today, I discovered that it was nearly 70° F outside. This rare treat called for a special event for my 7-year-old son and me. I noticed last week that his new school shoes were Saucony brand, the same as my running shoes. He has been on me every since then to take him running.

Tonight we had our change. It was’t the first time we’ve gone jogging together and I pray it won’t be the last. Nothing motivates me like the thought of running many long miles with my son, as he becomes a man.

Waking up early has always been hard for me. It usually takes several weeks (or months) for me to get into to a new early morning routine. So, this last week of predawn running has been a real fight for me. I was thinking about some positives of early morning running. Here is what I came up with:

• No dogs – the natural enemies of every running is normally asleep still
• I can give my wife an accurate weather report
• I have about 20 extra minutes to immediately write my running log
• No cars – very few people are trying to run me over at 5 AM
• I can always come in first, because everyone else is still in bed
• I can wear my bizarre running gear without embarrassment or police reports
• I feel good all morning
• I have time to think, scheme or pray without interruption
• No schedule conflicts

What about you? Are you a morning runner?

I have always heard that running and exercise fights depression. My first week back as a runner has confirmed this to me. In the past, I have thought of this mainly as a biological phenomenon, with exercise having positive neuro-chemical effects. This morning I built my own theory on why running has such a powerful effect on one’s mood. I am certainly not denying the biological dynamic. Rather, I am suggesting another concursive process is at work. Running teaches me self-control and my ability to create positive change. This experience is a significant factor in overcoming depression.

I have struggled with depression most of my life. It has never been overwhelming, but it has affected my behavior in many small ways. One root of this melancholy is a feeling of being out of control. Right or wrong, there have been times when I felt stuck in situations that I did not choose. When you are depressed you tend to believe that other things are controlling your life. These may include circumstances, other people, social injustice, your own past choices, or a chemical imbalance. The problem with all this is simple, your stuck; there is nothing you can do about it. This feeling of helplessness turns to hopelessness and the depressed person becomes increasingly passive. This passivity works against them and confirms their sense of self-pity.

Much of this process occurs at the level of perception rather than realty. I have never traveled far down that path, even if I have shared in those self-defeating thought processes. You become what you think and feeling will often follow your actions.

Running and exercise works against this because it puts me back in control. Everything about jogging is teaching me self-control. I learn to overcome my feelings when I answer the alarm clock at five in the morning. I take action when I step out the door into the cold winter air. I decide my course and stick with it. Running is about taking control of myself and creating positive change. With this mindset, feelings of depression fall away without a struggle. They simply do not fit in this new world.

This morning was hard. I stayed up too late last night and the 5 AM alarm sounded like an air raid siren. The weather was ok except for a chilly wind that seemed to cut through my normally solid jacket. Regardless, I got moving and walked the first half-mile. After that, I jogged the final 1.5 miles of my course.

I am a little worried to be losing motivation so early into my renewed attempts to become a runner. This is only day two, but there was almost nothing I wanted more this morning than to crawl back into my warm bed. I began to make a list in my mind of all the reasons why I am doing this. Here are a few:

• I want to live a long and healthy life. While exercise and fitness are not a guarantee, I can already feel my extra weight sapping me of energy and enjoyment. I want to feel better.
• I do not want to look so fat. It really does bother me that kids think I look like Santa Claus. Over the last year my second chin has become more pronounced. I want to look better.
• I am speaking at a professional conference in the spring. This will be an important introduction for me to some leaders in my industry. A good impression could go a long way, and no one can dispute that looking healthy makes a better impression than looking fat.

There is more that I could write, but the important thing is that I started. I would love to hear your feedback and what motivates you for running and weight loss. Just leave a comment on the form below.